Friday, November 10, 2017

Hangry

Did I find Love in India.... Yes
But I also found heartache and so after years of not posting I have returned. 
This time with eyes wide opened to this world of online dating. I have had
so many crazy experiences that I need to get them out of my head and in the
process I hope to bring my readers endless laughs... yes at my expense : but 
I don't mind the world needs more laughter ! So here I aim to tell the stories 
of my online dating escapades with all its ups and downs , turns and twist, 
tears and forehead slaps. To avoid any nasty texts,  I will give each suitor , 
(I use that term loosely) a name fitting of the tale. 

Today I will start with one of the most resent and one of the worst. 

Hangry

    I met Hangry on the all to infamous Tinder. He lives across the Canadian border which 
presents it's own share of problems. Tinder does not recognize borders, only miles, 
so living in a border town your choice of swipes is more than 50% northerners. 
No small talk for this one he wants to meet right away. In this world of technology 
this man cannot figure out how to text or use the internet for communication. He 
complains of costs and is never near wifi to communicate on one of the many chatting 
apps. He wants to meet at a nearby McDonalds the following day. Again he doesn't 
respond to texts so I don't give it much thought. The next day as I'm drinking my morning coffee
he states "I am on my way" . To that , I respond , I'm not coming. He throws a small
man tantrum because he just assumed I would drop everything to meet him without 
discussion. Fast forward to that weekend he texts and says that he would like to try 
again and could we meet. I said I don't meet anyone at a fast food parking lot but we 
can try a close coffee spot. He agrees to that and asks me to send him the address because
of course he can't use that googly thing. The border was busy so he arrives 30 min late
and I am almost done with the coffee I bought myself. Conversation consists of 15 straight
minutes of him talking about his adventures in Yoga. Even after an espresso I find myself 
yawning and looking about the room to see if there is anything else to entertain me.
Following the yoga lesson, Hangry turns to analyzing  my personality.. apparently I am 
a very guarded person. So where do we go from here asks the man w/out a plan. 
As it is a very nice sunny day I suggest the park. He agrees and we head that way. 
Remember he's Canadian , so he seems more interested in getting cheap gas and cheese 
then having an good time with his date. In fact , while being a captive in his car, he 
takes me to the exciting world of the Winco grocery store. It's now lunch time so 
maybe we could go get a bite to eat. No that's not happening. He buys $6 worth of chicken
at the deli, grabs some other items, including a donut from the bakery that he proceeds
to eat before we even leave the store. At checkout he throws the empty wrapper on the 
belt. I told the clerk that I was sorry and that he seemed to be really Hangry. 
When we got in the car which now smelled like Kentucky Fried Chicken he immediately
started eating his chicken because i guess the doughnut he shoved down his throat was
not satisfying him. Instead of asking me where the park is he turns back towards 
where we initially met. After we get to the cars he then asks me what I want to do now.
I reminded him that he shot down my idea and now that I was back at my car I am going
home. His groceries need to be put away so he says he will return later that evening for
a "real date" . After we departed each others company he texted a few more times.
At some point I aked if he was still coming down because I was starting to get hungry. 
He stated yes and then ghosted me for the next week. A week later he texts " sorry my 
internet was down" . I didn't respond. I mean really your internet and the entire world 
of wifi and your texting and lets see a phone call, couldn't be accomplished in all that
time?? Ok Stupid. I guess he didn't like me silence and responds with Umm ok . 
yes a master of words, this one. I am going to stay south of the border from now 
on eh.
 

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Bombay Residence

This is the link to the hotel where i am going to stay on the beach...It is right on Juhu beach. It only has 32 rooms and I think I am really going to enjoy spending three days there.  Also is located real close to the airport. If you need to track me down, this is where I will be the nights of 24, 25 and 26 Nov. http://continental.bawahotels.com/index

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Final Countdown...

To my dismay, after doing some googling, it seems it is illegal for someone to have an Elephant on the streets of Bombay. I am not going to let anything stop me in my goal of finding one and riding one. If I fail at this task I will be so disappointed. So if anyone knows of anywhere where I can achieve this dream of mine I would be so appreciative of any help or information. With my luck there will be an endless supply of snakes to scare the hell out of me. I am trying to prepare myself for the mass of people and crowds I am to encounter but I think that it will be overwhelming for me. Bellis Fair on a busy weekend full of Canadians is too much for me to handle. I am looking forward to getting a henna tattoo during the wedding celebration I will be attending and that is probably as close as I will ever get to the real thing. I want to experience everything but I fear 3 weeks will not even be close to enough time and I wish I was going during a time of one of their festivals for they sound so interesting...maybe next time..

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Nearer yet

So as the trip gets closer and closer my nerves are getting the best of me. My mind is filled with so many pre-conceived notions. Everyone is finding joy in striking fear into my heart. haha... I have heard everything from being eaten alive by bugs, getting some sort of virus and being allergic to milk for the rest of my life, getting kidnapped and never being seen alive again or better yet sold into slave prostitution, and the very worst of all having my sunglasses stolen by some lunatic monkey. I myself do not believe any of this is going to happen (except for maybe the mosquito part) and plan on having a very enjoyable vacation and returning in one peace. 
Although I piece of me will remain behind. I am sure to make new friends along the way and if history repeats they will be some of the closest and dearest to my heart. I'm ready to go and the only thing standing in my way right now is time.....

Thursday, October 6, 2011

With a month before I leave, I am finally feeling like I am almost ready. I have had my shots of A,B, typhoid and malaria and even have meds for the 20 hour plane flight. Having trouble deciding what clothes to pack, I hear it is going to be hot there while back home it will be in the 40's and 50,s. Want to keep my style while being respectful of India's traditions. Looking forward to sharing with Ravi some foods from here such as peanut butter and home made black bottom cupcakes. I will also be taking along a glass bowl I made as a gift for his mother which I hope she will love. As my friends know coffee is very important to me and I will be bringing Starbucks along to start every day off with a taste of home. As you can see Pumpkin wants to come along as well , maybe it is to meet her bf charlie who lives in India or maybe though she won't admit it she is going to miss me :)