Did I find Love in India.... Yes
But I also found heartache and so after years of not posting I have returned.
This time with eyes wide opened to this world of online dating. I have had
so many crazy experiences that I need to get them out of my head and in the
process I hope to bring my readers endless laughs... yes at my expense : but
I don't mind the world needs more laughter ! So here I aim to tell the stories
of my online dating escapades with all its ups and downs , turns and twist,
tears and forehead slaps. To avoid any nasty texts, I will give each suitor ,
(I use that term loosely) a name fitting of the tale.
Today I will start with one of the most resent and one of the worst.
Hangry
I met Hangry on the all to infamous Tinder. He lives across the Canadian border which
presents it's own share of problems. Tinder does not recognize borders, only miles,
so living in a border town your choice of swipes is more than 50% northerners.
No small talk for this one he wants to meet right away. In this world of technology
this man cannot figure out how to text or use the internet for communication. He
complains of costs and is never near wifi to communicate on one of the many chatting
apps. He wants to meet at a nearby McDonalds the following day. Again he doesn't
respond to texts so I don't give it much thought. The next day as I'm drinking my morning coffee
he states "I am on my way" . To that , I respond , I'm not coming. He throws a small
man tantrum because he just assumed I would drop everything to meet him without
discussion. Fast forward to that weekend he texts and says that he would like to try
again and could we meet. I said I don't meet anyone at a fast food parking lot but we
can try a close coffee spot. He agrees to that and asks me to send him the address because
of course he can't use that googly thing. The border was busy so he arrives 30 min late
and I am almost done with the coffee I bought myself. Conversation consists of 15 straight
minutes of him talking about his adventures in Yoga. Even after an espresso I find myself
yawning and looking about the room to see if there is anything else to entertain me.
Following the yoga lesson, Hangry turns to analyzing my personality.. apparently I am
a very guarded person. So where do we go from here asks the man w/out a plan.
As it is a very nice sunny day I suggest the park. He agrees and we head that way.
Remember he's Canadian , so he seems more interested in getting cheap gas and cheese
then having an good time with his date. In fact , while being a captive in his car, he
takes me to the exciting world of the Winco grocery store. It's now lunch time so
maybe we could go get a bite to eat. No that's not happening. He buys $6 worth of chicken
at the deli, grabs some other items, including a donut from the bakery that he proceeds
to eat before we even leave the store. At checkout he throws the empty wrapper on the
belt. I told the clerk that I was sorry and that he seemed to be really Hangry.
When we got in the car which now smelled like Kentucky Fried Chicken he immediately
started eating his chicken because i guess the doughnut he shoved down his throat was
not satisfying him. Instead of asking me where the park is he turns back towards
where we initially met. After we get to the cars he then asks me what I want to do now.
I reminded him that he shot down my idea and now that I was back at my car I am going
home. His groceries need to be put away so he says he will return later that evening for
a "real date" . After we departed each others company he texted a few more times.
At some point I aked if he was still coming down because I was starting to get hungry.
He stated yes and then ghosted me for the next week. A week later he texts " sorry my
internet was down" . I didn't respond. I mean really your internet and the entire world
of wifi and your texting and lets see a phone call, couldn't be accomplished in all that
time?? Ok Stupid. I guess he didn't like me silence and responds with Umm ok .
yes a master of words, this one. I am going to stay south of the border from now
on eh.
